They Call the Wind Mariah

December 03, 2004 : 6:16 p.m.
What Do You Get?

Hello, children. Today we're going to play a little game called "What do you get?"

Question: What do you get when you spy at your Christmas presents?

Answer: Well, apparently, an even better Christmas than you were going to have. M was in my closet "looking for toilet paper" the other day, and came across one of her "big" gifts. Just dandy. It was a gift the big guy (ya know who I mean, people) was going to give her, so I *had* to replace it. That or have the talk with her about how the magic of Christmas lies within your own heart and all that crap. I don't think she's ready for that. If it was a gift we were going to give to her I wouldn't replace it, I'd just let her deal with the consequences of fewer gifts to open. But how can I let her heart be broken thinking Santa put her on the "Naughty" list? So the little sneak gets even more presents. Brat.

Question: What do you get when you have a dog who is like a big teething 2 year old child on crack, and a 7 year old that doesn't pick up her toys?

Answer: Obviously, a crying child and something that looks like a cross between a horse that needs crutches and a weird-looking kangaroo.