They Call the Wind Mariah

May 13, 2004 : 10:48 a.m.
What's Wrong with June Cleaver?

Inevitably, when someone hears me say that I wish I could stop doing daycare and "just" be the mama, I get one of two responses:

1) "But you already stay home with her."

2) "This is 2004, not the 50's. There's nothing wrong with women working and helping to provide for her family."

Yeah, I do stay home with her already. But my attention at any given time is divided between her and 3 other children. I can't imagine if I had more kids in my daycare...which I have thought of doing just for extra cash.

Also, people expect if you are home all day, even if you are doing daycare or some other work-at-home job, or even "just" a stay-at-home mom, you can do everything that needs to be done in a day. Wrong. A lot of times, I don't have the TIME to catch up the laundry, dust, sweep, do the dishes-and all of the other myriad of chores that need doing around the house. Sure, I'm home, but do you understand the logistics of my job? I am literally at any given time:

Chasing down a 1 year old who doesn't want her diaper changed;

Breaking up a fight between any of the combination of 4 girls;

Making breakfast for 4 girls plus myself;

Making lunch for 4 girls plus myself;

Cleaning up after said breakfasts and lunches;

Putting in a movie;

Cleaning snotty noses;

Pulling kids off the dog;

Pulling kids off the cat;

Wiping down kids who have jumped in the mud puddle I specifically told them not to jump in;

Cleaning up playdough, markers, crayons, etc....

All this while trying to simply maintain a SEMI-clean house, figure out what's for dinner for our family, and any other little daily things that pop up.

I *long* for the day I am able to do normal household chores like dishes and laundry. Right now my weekends and the very few "slow days" I have are spent just 'catching up'. I can't wait to use my weekends and "slow days" to just...wow - maybe spend some quality time with my family?

And then there is the argument of helping provide for my family. Well, obviously that is why currently I am doing daycare. But if that could change...just imagine if you will that my husband is able to increase his pay enough so that I could stop doing daycare. What would be so wrong with that? We would still be providing for our family the same way that we always have, with the same amount of income that we had before. So who really cares who brings it home? My husband certainly doesn't. He is right up there with me wishing I could "just" be the mama.

What was so wrong with the 50's anyway? I think I was misplaced from that era. Nobody could ever call me a feminist. I don't see anything wrong with being a stay-at-home mom. I don't see anything wrong with a husband doing the providing. I don't see anything wrong with WANTING to be with my daughter. And I won't feel repressed when the time comes for me to give up my income and clean the house and raise my daughter. Nope. I think I'll just enjoy it.