They Call the Wind Mariah

March 15, 2004 : 12:50 p.m.
First Place in the Baby-Making Race Goes to.....

An eventful few weeks it has been. Woah, I just sounded a little to Yoda for my liking. Anyway...

Newsflashes:

1 - My sister-in-law A (for more information/background on A, go here, here, or here) is getting married June 12th. As soon as I got the call, I knew what you will know in the next newsflash, but anyhoo...I have been designated wedding planner/budget consultant/decoration committee. Which, as much as I pretend to be annoyed at, I truly love. If I pull a decent, nice wedding/reception off on her meager pennies, I will have it made in my Event Planner endeavors.

2 - My sister-in-law A is pregnant. Now, history lesson - this is her 3rd pregnancy by as many men. Her last son Z was born a scant 7 months ago. The happy event will take place November-ish.

I have been through the anger, I went through sadness for her boys both for different reasons. Danny because he's had enough emotional baggage this year as it is, now he's dropped another peg in the food chain. Z because he won't even get a chance to be the baby, really. And even little baby-to-be, because well, he's being born into a family that can't afford him (or her, you know what I mean) and to a mom who didn't want even her second one, and isn't mature enough at 23 to know how babies are made.

It's pitiful. I love her, but I just really dont like her sometimes. She doesn't think of anyone. I would say "but herself", but really, she isn't even thinking of herself or her future at this point. Anyway, I've went through all this before, but I'm over it. Concentrating on the fact that this time at least she chose a guy who, thusfar, is honoring his committment as a father and a man.

And that by the grace of God I have a beautiful daughter. And if I'm not to have another child ever, at least I know I have taken care and loved to the fullest extent of my being the one He has given me. It is hard to not question, though, what exactly His plan is with A.

I guess it is not meant for me to understand. But it is hard.