They Call the Wind Mariah

May 23, 2003 : 4:27 p.m.
Crushes and Cry-Babies

I have a confession to make. You may have already figured it out, if you are like the person who sent me that rude-ass e-mail. Yeah, you know who you are.

I'm obsessed with men. I easily develop grade-school crushes on men that are totally out of reach. But ONLY on men that are completely beyond my reach. Why? Because I can. Because they're safe. And because they're damned easy to crush on. *wink* I mean, my husband has this friend that is completely hunky but I'm not obsessed with him and I do not have a crush on him. Why not? Because he's too real. It's not safe to crush on a guy that's really in your life. That's when innocent crushes cross over into "broken promise land". I know my limitations and I know my vows and would never, NEVER break them. It's basically like I never grew out of that teenage phase where you have crushes on every cute young actor. Why grown out of it when it's so much fun?

And listen up, Miss Holier-than-thou, Rude-ass e-mail sender: If my husband is okay with it (and in fact makes jokes about it - he knows and trusts me, and knows it's all in good fun), then what the fuck do you care?

Changing subjects quickly (actually it's about men, so it's sort of along the same lines), WHY oh WHY does Montel Williams always have to cry on his show? Anyone who knows me at all knows this: I have this HUGE weakness for men who cry. It effects me in ways a woman crying never has. It must have something to do with the fact that we are brought up hearing that "Real men don't cry", and then you see them in this weak moment and realize that they do, and it's heartwrenching. At least, to me it is. Trust me, if we're watching a movie together and there's a man that cries in it, you won't even have to look at me to know I'm in puddles.

*sniff*
Damn you, Montel.