They Call the Wind Mariah

October 22, 2004 : 8:49 a.m.
A Cup of Joy, a Dash of Sadness

Well, as of October 17th, I am an auntie 3 times over. Only this time, it's a girl. Her name is Madasyn Marie, and she is, of course, beautiful. I'll post pictures as soon as I get them developed! She reminds me so much of M when she was a baby. Tiny features, dark black hair all over her head (of course, M's didn't last long - it turned blonde and has progressively gotten darker and darker - it's at about a light brown now). She's great and I love her already. So how at the same time can I be so sad?

It is such a bittersweet thing for me, in two ways:

First, of course, being that A has had 3 children in the time we've been trying to have our second child, and responsibly speaking she should have stopped after the first. It's that whole "not-fair" scenario.

Second, it's a girl. I had been really hoping she'd have another boy. You see, my mother-in-law obviously favors A's boys* (and when I say obvious, I mean enough so that my 7 year-old daughter knows who 'Mammaw K' "likes best"). So, I was hoping for A to have another boy because that would keep M the only girl, and somehow I thought, in their minds, that would mean that she was still unique, still special.

Anyway, I am happy, even if a little sad at the same time. It's so much fun to buy clothes for little girls, and hopefully I can be the awesome aunty who she always wants to go see :) So far, the boys think I'm awesome! My 4-year-old nephew thinks Aunt Riah's house is a blast! And M is definately psyched about having another girl in the family, so I'll keep my fears, thoughts, etc. to myself and the good listeners in my life.

I thank God for those good listeners: My mother, my husband, and my best friend C, and anyone who keeps reading this diary even after all my bitter diatribes :) Without all of the above, I would be much more insane than I already am.

*I will write more on this twisted story later.