They Call the Wind Mariah

August 16, 2004 : 7:37 a.m.
Turning the Page...

Something has gone on in my body/mind/soul this last week or so. Something that I can't quite pinpoint, but that has made me change the way I look at my life. Question things about my life. About me.

I can't quite expain it but somehow, I have changed. Almost overnight I am a changed person. I am looking at the world so differently, and it is beautiful. I am put on this earth for a reason. I may not know what the reason is, but I am grateful for it, and to keep taking it for granted would a disservice to myself and the One who put me here in the first place.

It's not even just one aspect of me that is changing. It feels like everything I do, everything I think, every way I am is different. Better. I only have one life to live, and I am going to live it. You only get one chance, if you screw it up - you have only you to blame.

No more feeling sorry for myself for things that are beyond my control. I need to let some things go that I have held onto very tightly these past few years. It was a beautiful dream, but what I have isn't so bad either. In fact, it's just as beautiful. More so because it's real. My future is changing before my eyes, and though it still makes me a little sad - it's a good future. And I'm determined to make it a happy one. A fantastic one ... the stuff memories are made of.

No more feeling sorry for myself for things that are WITHIN my control. I need to start controlling them. If I want my life to be what I picture, then I know the things I need to do. It's that simple.

I feel like a new person. A happier person. This time I am not going to let myself down.